so i guess i should start with the obligatory hi this is me and welcome to my blog post. lets see….
i am a 30 something liberal with a degree in anthropology and in comparative world religion. As such i am 1. liberal 2. educated and 3. poor (and sometimes out of work) when i am employed i run group homes for MRDD (mentally retarded, developmentally disabled) folks. Because of my education I have pretty good knowledge of how both the medical establishment works AND how a study is run (as well as how you can easily skew any statistics…..and i thought id never use stat 101) i love reading, computer games, tech and cooking. (i also love using parentheses)
i have had an extremely disordered relationship with eating since i was 12 or so. I can remember being in middle school having slim fast for lunch and hiding it. This turned into a full blown eating disorder by 10th grade. I have tried every diet under the sun, and, short of LITERALLY (and misuse of the word literally is a pet pevee) throwing up every single thing i ate (which i have done over and over again through my life), my body doesnt want to be think . Im currently 6 foot 2 inches and am, as i like to put it LOLDEATHFATZ (300ish if you must know), but my frame is big. Even when an olympic hopeful in synchronized swimming, i wore a 18…hell, even when so bulimic and anorexic my hair was falling out i was STILL only a 14/16.
Because of my low self-esteem and whatnot (because what is an eating disorder but l.ow self esteem/never being good/thin enough?!?!), i was seeking out men (and women) who were bad for me….In college i ran into Brad (not his real name) who was mentally and physically abusive. After a few awful relationships (im sure we will go into detail eventually) i stood on my own.
I have made this blog because after pulling myself together, and meeting a new person (who loves me for me!) i started actually facing down the eating disorder…..and discovered FA through bulimia web sites. FINALLY! People who think like me…..i may be new….but i am here to put my spin on things. I am interested in the social aspects of FA, and eating disorders…and mommyhood (well step-mommyhood). I hope you like me but if you dont move right along.